IC INBOX - Savrou

[redshitlord]

Yoooooooooo! It's Sideswipe! I'm busy out and being awesome right now, so you should totally message me!

Maybe I'll get back to you. At some point.



TEXT | VOICEMAIL | VIDEO | ETC

Comments

Video

[daintylegs]

Hi! Cyclonus told me that your name is Sideswipe? My name's Tailgate!

Anyway, Cyclonus is a really good friend of mine, and I was hoping you'd want to trade rooms? You'll really like Riptide! He's super fun and if you have a stupid thing you want to do, he'll totally go along with it.

Also Cyclonus likes to eat sparks when bots are asleep, so you'd better watch out for that. Just sayin'.

Video

[redshitlord]

...

Uh. Hi...

[What is he even looking at here. Is it a marshmallow. Where's the mouth.]

Wait who's Riptide? This is really sudden -- does he even want to swit--

What?

text

[daintylegs]

ok i know we just met but do you wanna do something
dumb that will make responsible people mad and furious?

if so consider this: whale riding

text

[redshitlord]

yes

[earthandpine]

[Rosethorn will go along with the assignments, but only after grumbling that she never volunteered to be anybody's buddy in the first place.

Once she's recovered from her disastrous first trip down onto the planet, her health is no excuse to avoid this anymore. She sighs, and tries not to sound long-suffering when she leaves a message over the MIDs.]

Hello, Sideswipe. My name is Rosethorn. I've been assigned to show you around the ship if you need it and answer any questions you have. If you'd like to meet with me, my day is free.

[redshitlord]

Whoa. That's a name. That's like, almost Autobot. Hi.

[Sideswipe, that's. Really not even remotely helpful in this situation. Way too cheerful, too.]

Show me around, huh? All the secret stuff?

text

[knaval]

so i know we're probably going to be grounded longer than we've ever been alive combined (which is like 10 million years) and im sory you had 2 be involved in that
but
also
well done u pased the crew induction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

text

[redshitlord]

pshhhh like im gonna listen to that kind of scrap no ones gonna ''GROUND'' me

im a free bot baby





wait what

Audio; 3/19

[aminerproblem]

Are you still hiding under Riptide's berth?

[redshitlord]

Why do you care!

text

[daintylegs]

I have your sword now
I'll leave it in your room for you

btw are you and riptide ever going to fix that wall or
are you just fine with it being the way it is

text

[redshitlord]

you do????

DUDE THATS AWESOME YOURE AWESOME@!!!!1

OK OK so like i totally owe you now name it little dude you got it



also uh
i kinda want to but
building scrap isnt exactly my thing

audio

[knaval]

Can we talk?

audio

[redshitlord]

[Oh... shit. That doesn't sound good at all.]

Um. Whatever Tailgate said, he was lying!

voice.

[t65]

Sideswipe? It's Luke. Look, I just want to apologize-- I know I promised not to go near Tarn without backup, but there's no time, and I think he's in trouble. I can't just let him get lost. I'm sorry, Sideswipe.

[Any replies won't be replied to, because he's, you know, off in another dimension.]

voice.

[redshitlord]

[other dimension or no, he's still going to yell.]

Wh-- no! Yes! Yes you can absolutely let him get lost! Dude!

Luke let the purple murder machine get lost!

text

[knaval]

sides a human i really liked has gone
u were on earth rite
im realy
i c
everythin is going so wrogn this month sides i dont know what 2 do

text

[redshitlord]

whoa buddy wait what

where r u

are you ok??? its gonna be oky hold on ill find you

[text;] super late at night, backdate appropriately lmfao

[ex_forcechoke292]

Sideswipe, does your arm ever fall asleep?

...DO you sleep?

[text;] THIS IS THE BEST

[redshitlord]

uhj wha

[Yeah that right there should probably answer everything.]

all of me falls asleep like whenevr someons tell ing me stuf thats boring

text

[knaval]

SIDESIPWE
I HAVE A RLY GOOD IDEA
LETS GET
SOME MATCHING ARMOUR PAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(ps theres some vaping slag under the bed if u want some go ahead but make sure u leave some for me (theres also a lot) and dont tell megatron)

text

[redshitlord]

[Matching... armor paint... this is like. This is like something Dating People do. Oh my god.]

UMMMM YES???

IMMEDIATELY

WHERE???


(ps i left you something on the bed i think youll like it just dont sit on it its break able)

audio

[knaval]

Sideswipe, what the hell is wrong with you?! Lay off Bumblebee!

[WHY IS EVERYONE SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER THIS WEEK GODDAMN]

audio

[redshitlord]

Wh--!

I was just teasing him! Like I do everyone!

... Did he go tattle on me or something??

text

[knaval]

SIIDEWWSEIPE
soyr i didntn make it to movie night
me n whirl had
A MOMENT

text

[redshitlord]

A MOMENT //????

WHAT KIND OF MOMENT U DIDNT SAY THE THING

DID U

RIPTIDE DID U SAY TH E THING

text; a few days after everything went to shit

[heelys]

u around?? i could really use something 2 distract myself from being in my own head u no
like even if its just listening 2 music or videogames w/e
i cud use the company buddy

text

[redshitlord]

oh sure um
ive got my music ?

i dunno about movies or games cause man nothing here is meant for us

voice

[heroicpose]

Sideswipe, it's Rodimus. I'd like to talk. Seriously. I mean, you're young but you're an adult and people should start talking to you that way. No insults, name calling, memes or whatever. Can you do that?

voice

[redshitlord]

Hmm. Can I do it? Sure, man. All the time.

Do I wanna do it? Depends on what you want to talk at me about.

[knaval]

i got a new room from the captains for some reason
and
im not going to move without telling you
so i got your name put on the roster too
i asumed youd want to come with
i told soundwave he can use our old one so
:3

ps please dont tell anyone where it is at the moment i dont really
just dont

[redshitlord]

you got your own room???
a
aw yeah dude i wanna
i wanna stay with you


ok no problem no one will know
u cant see it but im doing mysterious finger wiggles

this inbox needs more riptide

[knaval]

hey sir ;)
what are u doin

swoons

[redshitlord]

riptide wh




oh

OHHH

uh

talkin to YOU whatre U doin

text - whatmakesyouhahaha.mp3

[knaval]

ij ust did something fatally stupid
im so sorry for putting you through this again
dont wait up for me
i know it hasnt seemed like it lately but

[it cuts off there, woops.]

AUDIO FUCK YOU

[redshitlord]

[He figured at first it was Riptide yelling at him. Again. Like he'd done something else wrong. So he skims it, and gets ready to just type "whatever".]

[Up until "again" and "fatally stupid" and "dont wait up".]

[And then he's mashing the TALK button hard as he can.]

Where are you! I -- don't just say that and not finish! You can't say that and not finish!

--Riptide!

[Oh god, he's sorry, he's so sorry. He never should have walked away, he never should have "stepped back" like Drift said.]

Answer me!

TEXT; Backdated to April 10th

[squadgoals]

[There's a ping, and Sideswipe will find their TAB lighting up with what is, perhaps, the most straightforward birthday invitation you've ever seen.

Clearly made in a template, maybe titled "PROFESSIONAL LINES" or something equally boring, it invites you to a "a small birthday celebration" at a new restaurant/bar opening in Kauto's Region 1.

There is a button to RSVP, and the additional option to add a "plus one".

It is signed off simply with "SHEPARD".

Will you attend this crunk-ass fête, this... space jam??]

powerswap eventtttttt

[lavelly]

Side Swipe a friend of mine seems to be turning into a golem. Would you know anything about that?

[redshitlord]

[What follows is a garbled mix of audio, video and text. It's mostly yelling. Incoherent yelling.]

I DON'T even know what's happening!. Why am I like this????

BCC'D NORMANDY SECURITIES MASS MAIL; BACKDATED TO MORNING OF MAY 16TH (DAY 36)

[squadgoals]

All,

Effective immediately, I will be on a leave of extended absence from Normandy Securities offices. Length estimate at this time is a minimum of 45 consecutive days (during the current 100-day cycle). Additionally, subsequent to receipt of this message, I will be unavailable for contact in any form, digital or otherwise.

During this time, the offices of Normandy Securities will be officially CLOSED, as I will be unavailable for collection and assignment of missions for the next remuneration period (Day 52 - 81). Therefor, all employees (defined as "full-time", "part-time", or "freelance") are subsequently placed on paid leave.

As there will be no bonuses available during the Day 52 - 81 paid leave remuneration cycle, please take note of the amount you should receive on Day 82, adjusted to account for this:
FULL-TIME: 550 SENCS
PART-TIME/FREELANCE: 250 SENCS
All employees should automatically receive their standard bonus-included amounts on the morning of Day 51.

As employees, you will still be able to enter and access the Normandy Securities offices and facilities, should you require anything. NOTE: Armory will be on lockdown during this time.

As always, thank you all for your persistent assistance and hard work in helping to form and continue Normandy Securities. Please use this unplanned vacation time to relax and spend some time with those you love.

Yours in service,

LCDR. Jane Shepard
Normandy Securities

[squadgoals]

[Directly after this message comes in, a second follows behind it, much more hastily written. Attached is a stipend transfer for another 250 sencs.]

Sideswipe,

I'm okay, and I'll be back before you know it.

In the meantime, I'm transferring you some extra money. Take care of yourself, and I'll see you very soon.

-Shepard

something something backdated to the end of may

[lavelly]

Did you get a message from Shepard?

[redshitlord]

yeah dude i did
why ????

after the cold hits

[ventifact]

do autobots get cold?

[redshitlord]

no im fine

r u fine ?

[This is a lie and a bluff.]

[spidersgeorg]

[he'd cursed as sideswipe had easily cut him off, slipping in the mud and hitting the ground hard enough to split up, all of his components sliding around in the field and leaving gigantic gashes in the grass. chop shop recombines as quickly as he can, standing upright and brandishing his tasers at sideswipe, scowling, then...

the ground underneath his feet starts to shift and he yelps as everything starts to give way. a goddamn landslide, really? he'd not considered the storm the night before that bad.]

Slag! Slag! Allspark-- damnit! [he yells as he falls forward onto his front and slips down with the chunks of mud, doesn't care what sideswipe is doing, can't see him anyway, then gets swept off the nearby incline and hits the ground of the quarry he'd wanted to hide in head first with a heavy, thick crack.

well. that's one way to take down a decepticon. maybe sideswipe survived the slide to drag him back in.

if he's... you know. still online. that's a lot of energon coming out the crack on the side of his head.]

[redshitlord]

[Oh, this was totally an easy mission. Or, it was supposed to be. Spot Decepti-five spiders, or whatever he was called, drag him in - all of him, not just two ugly bugs. That'd win over a lot of ugly looks back at the junkyard.]

[But then apparently, the planet decided otherwise.]

[The ground isn't supposed to move like that. It's not supposed to suddenly slide around like it's made of liquid. There's nothing to grab onto. There's nothing to stop the sudden slide - he's not made for this. He's all fast lines and lightweight build. A pummeling of rocks and mud does him no good, and he loses sight of Chop Shop almost immediately.]

[... Sideswipe ends up ass over helmet, and just sort of. Stays there for a minute. His feet sticking straight upright in the air. Kicking a little in reflex.]

[When he manages to free himself, he panics, at first. He's alone. He's lost track of where he is, and there's energon all over the place. There's more than a few jittery movements and scrambling around. Trying to figure out if he's more injured than he feels - robot adrenaline is a hell of a thing - before his optics land on... Well. It looks like Chop Shop. If Chop Shop had a big dent in his head.]

[Sideswipe... does the only thing one can think to do, when everything hurts, and you're alone with an unconscious Decepticon.]




[You poke it with a stick.]